US Air Force

imac93 · Posted: Wed Jan 30, 2008 11:10 pm Post subject: US Air Force

Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by US Air Force pilots and the replies from the maintenance crews.

Problem: "Left inside main tire almost needs replacement." Solution: "Almost replaced left inside main tire."

Problem: "Test flight OK, except autoland very rough." Solution: "Autoland not installed on this aircraft."

Problem: "The autopilot doesn't." Signed off: "IT DOES NOW."

Problem:"Something loose in cockpit." Solution: "Something tightened in cockpit."

Problem:"Evidence of hydraulic leak on right main landing gear." Solution: "Evidence removed."

Problem:"DME volume unbelievably loud." Solution: "Volume set to more believable level."

Problem:"Dead bugs on windshield." Solution: "Live bugs on order."

Problem:"Autopilot in altitude hold mode produces a 200 fpm descent." Solution: "Cannot reproduce problem on ground."

Problem:"IFF inoperative." Solution: "IFF inoperative in OFF mode."

Problem:"Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick." Solution: "That's what they're there for."

Problem:"Number three engine missing." Solution: "Engine found on right wing after brief search."

And these ones are reputed to be from QANTAS.

Problem: "The problem logged by the pilot." Solution: "The solution and action taken by the engineers."

Problem: "No.2 propeller seeping prop fluid." Solution: "No. 2 propeller seepage normal. No 1,3 & 4 propellers lack normal seepage."

Problem: "Suspected crack in windscreen." Solution: "Suspect you're right."

Problem: "Aircraft handles funny." Solution: "Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious."

Problem: "Target radar hums." Solution: "Reprogrammed target radar with words."

Problem: "Mouse in cockpit." Solution: "Cat installed"

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539 Assault Squadron Royal Marines

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